like zoom

my week on adderall.

went by so fast.

DERP

The Division Emergency Response Plan didn't choose their name very wisely.

wet sneeze

liz is our new part time.

strawberry blond. never seen her without it in a ponytail.

she's less than five foot nothing. acts like a promising 12 year old with a weird streak.

she's 30.

nice though.

the more i work with her the more odd she gets.

last time i was trying my hardest to get the store clean for closing while she counter jockeyed, taking care of customers.

i wasn't ten feet away. earshot. sink running. rinsing off the cappuccino machine nozzles.

out of view, but it's a small store. you can hear each other from anywhere in it.

over the sink i hear her sneeze. a couple of times in a row.

when there's a break in customers i get the last piece rinsed and walk around to see her, sour expression.

liz see's me.

" can i go to the bathroom? "

" uh. yeah. sure. "

" i didn't know where you were. "

she stepped out from behind the counter and showed me a wet spot in the crotch of her pants.

" what's that? " i ask.

" um. a customer spilled something. "

there was no evidence of this anywhere else.

" oh. okay. well yeah, go ahead. "

once she's in the bathroom i realize she'd sneezed and pissed herself.

i didn't want to ask her this directly. she seemed embarrassed.

when she came back i was stocking some cigarettes.

" hey. i'm always in earshot. and if i'm not i'll tell you before i go anywhere. just so you know. "

" thanks. "

don't squash yellow bugs

i was on my way to work. it was a different way that usual. the highway.

i could have sworn i could get over. the way was clear. but when i started to shift to the left lane a yellow bug blared her horn and sped up.

i pulled back to the previous lane. heart in my throat.

i felt a flash of anger. at the bug, at me.

after a few moments i safely got over. pulling myself right behind the bug at a stop light where a road ran through the highway.

i tried to avoid looking up into the bug rear view mirror. didn't want to catch a glare that told me i was an idiot.

i took a glance. she wasn't looking at her rear view mirror. she was looking at her passenger seat.

holding up some kind of octopus plush toy and shaking it in a soothing, distracting manner.

as if to calm a startled, crying baby.

i am an idiot.

the duke

there's a barely 18 kid that comes in to buy cigarettes. he looks about 15. so i end up asking for his ID every time.

his name is john wayne. john something wayne. first time i saw it i had to do a double take.

i don't think he's old enough to know why i call him the duke.

Convenient Groceries

a late twenties early thirties mother came in.

went straight for the candy aisle.

she stared at it as a whole for a full three seconds before shooting her hand down to grab two ring pops.

she laid them on the counter without a word and cracked open her billfold.

i began to laugh a little.

she snapped her head up.

" hm? "

" nothing. i was just imagining you in your living room watching tv and suddenly going 'SHEEIT! i gotta run tuh th'store 'n get ringpops!' "

she wasn't amused.

some people don't think i'm funny.

for a moment it felt like it

a young dark haired scrawny dude came in, he had stubble and wide eyes. bringing his coffee to the counter he looked at me.

"what's going on?" he asked, in not the way that could be considered a greeting.

"nothing's going on." i answered him uncertainly, "unless there's some zombie outbreak i don't know about."

"i haven't seen one." he admitted.

Former Employee's

Dwan

light black. glasses. bad teeth. you'd assume he was gay from his flamboyant outgoing attitude. if you didn't know any better.

he was an assistant manager that stood up for me in the beginning. told the boss i wasn't stupid. told the boss i was improving when i was still training.

we would spend the shift talking about pop culture.

he transferred to another store closer to home.



David

more than white. fourty something. gray hair. thin. anti-social. put on a friendly face, but it'd wear down easy by stupid, frustrating customers.

his temper made everyone wary. and eventually he got fired for sliding his newfound girlfriend some cigarettes and $1,300 or so came up missing at the same time.

it was never proven. but he got canned anyway.

Kayla

white. blond. was around for a minute. left to pursue an illustrious career at Wal*Mart.



Kim

white. so very short. in her fourties somewhere. looked a lot like she was a Cindy Lauper loving teenager.. blue eyeliner. red hair.

she was supposed to be the savior to my picking up so many hours.

but she fell in her kitchen.

knocked her knee cap around to the side of her leg and nearly tore out her own hair.


Greg

tall. black. heavy set. gay as fuck.

he's still showing up to get his checks. he quit for a job at a hospital upstate. he likes the spanish dudes. and the goths.

Hustla

when my newly hired good friend, Doug, got to work tonight he had nine 7.5 tabs on him in a zip lock way too big for them.

he let me have them all for $30.

i paid him in cash and stuffed the pills in my pocket. i usually wait for half of my shift to be over before I take any. i get too run down too quick, if taken too soon.

somewhere in the first part of my shift a forty to maybe fifty year old black dude with a backwards tan flat cap and brown leather jacket came in offering real gold chain necklaces for cheap.

i was about to tell him he wasn't allowed to peddle his stuff here.

but Doug piped up.

"how much you sellin' em for?" he had a new girlfriend he was talking to, in that goofy into her part of the relationship.

"i'll sell you one for thirty dollas."

"i ain't got thirty on me." Doug lied.

"twenny then, i'll gi'you one for twenny." the dude offered.

"all i got on me is a ten and a five." Doug pushed.

"gimmie the ten."

my friend turned co-worker went int he back to rustle around in his jacket a moment. then came back with such honesty on his face.

"i was wrong. i just got a ten, an' i still gotta buy cigarettes."

his girl got that chain.

Time Change

yesterday i found there to be changes to my work schedule.

my half day for today had been changed to a full day, doubling the hours i'd have to work today.

mentally i had prepared myself for the relief of a half day. and though i can handle it without complaint i decided to seek out a little help.

from amphetamines.

my friend got hired this week, i know he has some connections. so i asked him.

i work with him today. training. hopefully he'll have them for me.

i think i'll just swallow them this time.

Of Age

a young regular came in the day before yesterday and looked me dead in the face.

i don't even think he was there for anything other than to do so.

i suppose at one point i'd carded him for buying rillos. since he looks the 17 range.

"do i look 21?" he asked seriously.

i stared at him for a beat.

before i could answer he cut me off.

"no i don't. my birthday's tomorrow." there was a growing excitement in his voice.

"well happy birthday." i replied.

Short Change

yesterday my female co-worker was ringing a guy out.

"would you like to donate your .33 cents to the kids charity?" she had asked perkily.

"yeah." he replied.

she tossed in the remnants of the sale with that metallic jingle.

"no wait. could you get that back out of there?"

i guess he really needed it.

Tweed

a plain bespectacled man came in to just use my ATM. he had on glasses, had to be near thirty. brown natural colored hair.

brown button up shirt.

brown jacket.

long brown pants all the way down to clean rich green chucks.

"you have rather spontaneous shoes." i commented.

he chuckled.

"i bet you fend off pinches in march with them."

Kevlar

a regular came in today while the store was empty.

he got his usual coffee and came to the counter.

"over a million people are off of unemployment today." he informed.

"Oh? Why's that?" i wasn't listening, just counting out his change with my head down.

"they passed a bill that didn't grant them another extension. went into effect midnight last night."

i looked up, handing out his change. 3.95.

" so you'd better put on your bullet proof vest."

he left.

old gold

old gold is what I call a man who buys the old gold cigarettes.

he's short, thin, wears a blue jean jacket. a fluffy white beard and medium length pure white hair. parted down the middle. sad, sad eyes.

today i saw him outside of work. we pulled up next to each other at a stop light.

"hey how are you today?" he said.

"fine. how are you?"

"just fine."

the light turned green.

$6.66 $9.11 and $4.19

every time these prices show up on the digital display, the customer has to buy one more thing.

"i can't pay that."

i always thought it was kinda cool when the price was $6.66.

i just like the numbers.

when the price comes up to $4.19, i have the urge to tell them it's police code for a dead body. especially cops. but i don't want them to have to buy another thing because the kid behind the counter watches too much csi.

one legged man from vegas

once in mid afternoon, the store was empty save for me.

a tall man with long orange frizzy hair, a beard and one leg came in.

it stopped about mid thigh and continued on lieutenant dan style as a long metal rod.

"can you check this for me, bud?" he'd said, leaning heavily on the non-leg to place a lottery ticket on the counter.

he swiped his hand through his mess of hair. waiting.

he'd won $7.00.

"Really?" he was excited. never had one of my customers been so overjoyed at such a meager winning.

"i've lived in vegas all my life and never won nothin'. i come here and win seven dollars." he smiled.

i could handle the counter part

today a man with black stitches in his ear said this.

he went on to say, ' but the coffee part. i don't think i could handle the coffee part.'

weird. i always felt the opposite.